And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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