did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
