This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
