Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
