tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
