You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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