As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
