Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
