her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
