I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
