Do vagina's smell?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
