he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
