I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
