smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
