it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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