Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
whose parrot is this?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
