Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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