I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
