I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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