And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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