I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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