I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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