The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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