I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
