piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We had to coat check the pizza.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
3pm strippers are depressing
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
