You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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