They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
COCAINE IS GR8
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
