I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
