Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
