This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
