I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
