Duck Duck Cougar?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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