**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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