I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
