Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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