can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
