this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Randomize
