it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
