He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
