I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
