Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
