Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
