your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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