Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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