coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Then you guys just all showered together...?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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