Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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