The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
