Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
