What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This is my gift to your gina
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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