It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm getting married
To pizza
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
