His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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