You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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