There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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